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I am not even sure the last time that I logged into buddyslim, its been awhile, and I’ve done okay on my own. Now I am finding myself lacking some serious motivation though… so I am back. And to all my friends on here that I used to keep in touch with, I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. Let me explain. My life has been INSANE the last 9 months or so. Seperating from my husband, filing for bankruptcy… feeling insane a lot of the time due to all the stress. On top of that I am a 911 Operator. My schedule has not stayed the same for more than 5 weeks this year. Its about to change again as a matter of fact. In June I hardly slept at all, I’ve been having an EXTREMELY difficult time eating right. I lack the motivation to even think about eating right. The last month and a half I’ve been to the gym maybe 8 times.

I need help, I need someone to tell me to get my ass back in gear!

Now, by some miracle… I have been able to almost mantain my wieght. I think I’ve gained 6 pounds back. Considering how HORRIBLE I’ve been eating, and the lack of workouts… I am amazed. I would however still like to get to my goal weight one of these days.

 So Buddies… I am asking for words of encouragement and motivation! Kick my ass into gear people! 

 I’ve missed you all, and hope you’ve all had a better 9 months than me. LOL.

PS On the upside, even with the stress in my life. I am very happy right now. I have the best friends and two beautiful sons. I am still blessed

I can’t write this anywhere else because people will see it. Family… friends who actually see me in person every day… etc. If you want to be uplifted, stop reading now. The title says it all. Things suck right now.

My dad is sick. He has cancer. He has major surgery on the 8th. I am so worried about him, I can’t sleep… I am not eating right. Nothing is on track right now. My father and I aren’t close, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care. He waited 4 months to tell my sister, and 5 months to tell me. He asked me not to tell any of the family. I won’t, becuase that’s what he asked of me. But it’s hard. It’s hard to talk to people knowing something so huge and not being able to talk about it. He says it will cause him more stress which makes the pain worse. I understand, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I have a friend at work whose husband is dying of cancer. She had to take him to ER tonight, no one knows how long he really has. I am a 911 operator, and I took the call. She was crying. The hardest call I’ve had to take by far.

With all of this I just keep praying that my children don’t have to watch me have cancer or my husband… most of all I pray that they never get it. I’ve had two other close friends go through it, and they are survivors… but the road to survival is long, sick, painful and just plain difficult. I am saying that just as an outsider. I have no clue how people who ARE the survivors handle it, get through it… no clue.

Anyway… just wanted to get all of that out… maybe now I will be able to sleep. All I can do now is pray everything goes well on monday. And pray for my friend, that she has the strength to get through her husbands sickness. It’s just hard… and like I said, I am just an outsider…

Just so you all know, I will be okay.  I have many things to be thankful for. Two beautiful sons and a great husband, a good job, and good friends. Thank you to all my buddies who read and respond. Hope your friends and family are doing better than mine right now

I hate the place I am right now. I’ve lost weight since I joined, which is great don’t get me wrong. Right now though I am in this horrible place. I call it ‘5 pound limbo land’ up two, down 3, up 5, down 2, down 3, up 5… within the same 5 pounds the whole time but yo-yoing. It’s been this way since my vacation in July. It’s not that I am totally off track. I get back on, then jump off… then jump on. It’s a real problem. I have motivation… for about 4 days out of every week. What is the secret to getting motivation back to a constant? Hmmmm…

Oh well, I will get through this. I just keep telling myself this too shall pass… eventually.

I can’t wait to get out of 5 pound limbo land!!

Thanks for reading buddies, have a great day!

I don’t know what is the matter with me!! :( My family is coming into town… well they are here now actually. I know they love me for me and don’t care if my house is spotless or if all the laundry is done and everything else. But this last week I have been so stressed out trying to make everything PERFECT that I have completely neglected my diet/fitness/workouts… EVERYTHING! I am back on the diet soda, back on the fast food, back being lazy… well if you call working your ass off to scrub every inch of your house lazy??? Then yeah, lazy. The work on the house hasn’t helped with the weight though. I have gained 6 pounds :eek: in three days. Oh and you know one thing I have to say about that… what the hell? why can you gain it SO fast and lose it sooooo slow????? I know it is probably mostly water weight, but I am feeling hideous.  I was doing so well, and now I feel like I should just give up. I know that is not the answer, but I also don’t know how to get back ON the wagon… Especially because my family is here, and we all want to have a good time, vacation officially starts tomorrow… and AHHHHHHHHH I just want to scream at myself. “stupid stupid stupid!!”  I don’t know what to do with myself. To make matters worse my sister and mom are both struggling with their weight and aren’t jealous, but are at the same time, I don’t know. They don’t make me feel bad for losing weight at all, but I do feel kind of guilty and wish I could help them more than I can. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day, right? And at least camping I can’t hit a drive through!!!!  Please, please any encouragement and advice would be appreciated. I think I need it to get back on track!!! Thanks Buddies, have a great fourth!!

Today my oldest son turned two. He is adorable, funny and charming. I can’t believe how fast it went by. In retrospect, I did have a 2nd baby, got a new job, was in three weddings, drove 3 different cars, planned a bachelorette party, spent two and a half weeks at the police academy, went to vegas… among a million other things…
I think back to two years ago today, I had a brand new baby and was over weight. Granted you aren’t supposed to just jump back to your pre-pregnancy weight, however… my weight was out of control. I didn’t really care then, I was too absorbed in my Colby-baby. By the time I finally started to care, I ended up pregnant a 2nd time. Go Figure!! Anyhow, looking back on the 7 months since I had my 2nd son, I am very proud of the progress I have made. Life is going by way too fast, but at least I am finally getting fit so I will be able to stick around a bit longer for those two sweet boys of mine!! I know I am rambling, it’s just a lot that’s gone on, and I am so proud of myself for sticking to something for once… and it is actually working!! I am down 47 pounds from November 20th (6 days after my 2nd son was born) and I am so excited. I only have 11 pounds to go before I hit my goal, that sure is an amazing feeling! I am counting down Well I had better get back to the grind! Thanks for reading Have a great day!

Hi everyone! I haven’t blogged in a while, been too busy. It’s been a tough/busy couple of weeks. Last week I had training for work, it was long and boring but I am officially a field training officer now. Wohoo! After class each night we had swim lessons with BOTH boys… and I had to RUSH to get there each day. Then last friday the A/C on my car broke… on the hottest day of the week, 97 degrees! Saturday, the trucks A/C & Heater broke, no air hot or cold comes out! Ack! So then saturday night, I lost my cell phone. Just one more thing, bad things happen in 3’s that is for sure. Sunday I called my cell phone company to see if I could get a new phone, they said no because I had three WEEKS left before I could renew my contract. THREE WEEKS! So I just put the lines on hold ($3 a month) and went and got new service with verizon. I am so tired of poor customer service with my old carrier. GRRR… so then, on monday morning. My husband finds my phone. hahaha, go figure!  I spent over an hour calling it, walking around the house, sitting in all the cars, going in the backyard…etc looking for it. Well it was on silent, between the seat cushions in his car. AHHHH…. Anyway, all this stuff happening caused me to ‘throw in the towel’ on sunday. I ate whatever I wanted all day long… causing me to gain 3 pounds in one day. Oh well, it’s all come back off, I am just hoping to lose one more pound by saturday so I can keep losing rather than maintaining two weeks in a row. I don’t want to hit another plateaux.  Anywho I am just babbling because I haven’t blogged in a long time, and because I am bored right now.

 Thanks for reading, hope you are all having a wonderful thursday!

My last blog was not intended to offend anyone. Blogs are all about getting what you have to say off your chest.   I just don’t agree with people being on here if they are so skinny it’s unhealthy and people supporting them in continuing to lose weight!!! How does that help them, they are sick… and if we support the anorexia or bulimia or whatever it is… then we are helping them get sicker. How is that fair to them. How is that responsible of us? ALSO, I have been there, I was anorexic when I was 14; I was 5ft 6in and 104 pounds. Ate one piece of toast a day because I thought I was fat. Thanks to my family I got the help I needed. I don’t think any of my family members would have been happy to find me getting support for being anorexic.  My blog was NOT meant to offend anyone, and I am sorry if it did. I think that the media encourages an unrealistic body image, and that some people on here may be trying to attain that image through starvation or purging. I don’t think that behavior should be supported… I wouldn’t want my son or daughter supported if they were trying to do that.   Whatever… those who don’t understand, won’t understand I guess.

So something has been annoying me on the site for a while now… I probably shouldn’t say anything, but honestly I am surprised that I have held my tongue this long. I am not very good at keeping my mouth shut. Anyway… I love most people on this site, they are open and honest and are truly struggling to lose weight. I applaud those people, and stand by them 110%. It’s the people who are on buddyslim who are underweight, or on the LOW side of what is medically considered a healthy weight that bother me. This site is made for people who are struggling to get healthy and fit, not for people who are already a healthy weight or even worse underweight. I really think people need to learn to come to terms with their bodies! They should be going by what is medically considered a healthy weight NOT what the super skinny TEENY TINY rediculous looking models are looking like these days. It just pisses me off! What kind of example are they setting for people? And WHY do some people fall for it??

So… yep, that’s it. Hate me if you want to, but it had to be said.

Stay away from stress eating that is… People are pissing me off today! AHHHH!!! People are talking about me behind my back… It’s not exactly kosher to say someones name (something about I have to talk to her later) and then shut the door and gossip for a half hour! Rude! I could be reading into things, but I doubt it.  That’s the way things are here sometimes.  Plus work is busy today, which is fine. Time goes by faster. But I am on the phone and have someone asking me the SAME question over the radio FOUR times. I answered each time… Why do they keep asking, I am trying to talk on the phone type and answer repetitive questions. Granted it’s my job… but come on! Make it a little easier on me and LISTEN! Also I am sleep deprived… again! So that doesn’t help. Luckily I pack my lunch and bring it, and I don’t bring money so the vending machine can’t get to me… I just need the will power to get home without stopping! HAHA, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Madrid Fashion Week banned too-skinny models. So did New York Fashion Week. And now, France wants to ban promoting extreme thinness. Ultrathin models, it seems, have fallen out of style. (about damn time)

But the Web loves a skinny search. We go online to find BMI calculators, skinny celebs and answers to questions like “Am I too skinny?” and “How can I put on weight without getting fat?”

Gaining a few extra pounds may be better for you than you think. According to experts:

Curvy women are more intelligent; (Go us!!!)

They give birth to smarter children; and (Woot woot!!)

They live longer. (YAY!)